


Generally, Captain America isn't great when it comes to expressing feelings.

by oui_oui_mon_ami



Series: Captain America fucks up the 2012 timeline [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Getting Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, kind of??, this is a stevetony event only sorry stuckies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 06:06:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19101226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oui_oui_mon_ami/pseuds/oui_oui_mon_ami
Summary: Steve, who is apparently a trusted member of HYDRA now, takes down the Nazis with Tony's help. But there's definitely something going on between them. Can Steve save his best friend without screwing things up with Tony?Probably not. Given his track record with relationships and saving Bucky, he'll most likely fail. Miserably.It's worth reading "Contrary to what some people think, Captain America is definitely not a Nazi." first for some context.





	Generally, Captain America isn't great when it comes to expressing feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe steve fucked up time travel so badly i mean the only rules were don't interact with yourself and don't cause unnecessary contamination and what does he do? he fights himself, tells himself that bucky's alive two years too early and also tells hydra he's loyal to them?? if that doesn't scream chaotic bi energy i don't know what does

Steve is actually out of breath from running to Tony’s lab. He is clutching a fairly heavy box of files to his chest and he took the stairs because waiting for the elevator, although quicker in the long run, felt far too slow for his liking. So now he’s panting slightly as he punches in the code to Tony’s lab – Tony gave it to him willingly after Steve worked out a way to hack into the locking mechanism, he’s actually pretty good with computers despite what the tabloids say – and finds Tony and Rhodes mid-conversation.

“Hey, Cap,” Rhodes says cheerily. “I didn’t know you had access to the lab. Took Tony years to give me the code.”

“That’s ‘cause you kept breaking shit,” Tony says. “You okay, Cap?”

Steve is not okay. He is very much not okay, but he doesn’t want Rhodes to know that. So he plasters on as sincere a smile as he can manage. “Can I talk to you, Tony?”

Tony’s eyes immediately widen with realisation. “Rhodey, do you mind?” he asks softly.

Rhodey frowns. “You’ve known each other, what, less than a month and you’ve already got private in-jokes or something? Or do you just want to make out privately? I bet that’s it.” He leaves, grumbling. If Steve weren’t so preoccupied, his face would be bright red right about now, because maybe he’s thought about that exact scenario a couple of… dozen times.

“JARVIS, activate blackout mode,” Tony says, taking a seat at the counter.

“Blackout mode activated.”

“So, how was the meeting with Sitwell?” Tony asks.

Steve sits down next to him. “I got the files.” He doesn’t really know what to say. Or, well, he does, but he doesn’t know how to say it.

“Sitwell just let you walk out with them?” What an idiot.

Steve shrugs. “I’m apparently someone who can be trusted.”

“And?”

“It’s Bucky.” Steve was relieved to find that out. Well, relieved and devastated, because that meant Bucky’d been experimented on for seventy years, and Steve can’t even think about that happening.

Tony nods, scanning Steve’s face. “Well, that’s cause for celebration, right? He’s alive. So let’s go get him.”

“That’s not all,” Steve says. He doesn’t dare to meet Tony’s gaze. “I… don’t know how to tell you. So I think you should just read the files yourself. Particularly this one.” He hands Tony a file. “I’m sorry, Tony.”

He watches in dreaded silence as Tony opens the file and reads through it. After what feels like an agonising eternity, Tony finally shuts the file again, nodding. “Okay,” he says softly. “Okay.”

“I’m so sorry.”

Tony shakes his head. “No. This actually… helps. Do you have any idea how hard I searched to find my parents’ killer back in the nineties? I’d had an inkling, before, just from rumours of a masked assassin known as the Winter Soldier. And now that I know for sure, I can finally take down who’s responsible. And I don’t mean your friend, I mean the rest of HYDRA. Starting with that Nazi fuck Pierce.”

Steve looks up at him, hopeful. “You’re still willing to help?”

“I’d jump at the chance to kill some Nazis any day.”

Steve is relieved. Overjoyed. He could kiss Tony there and then. But that would be highly inappropriate. “You think we should call for backup?”

Tony shakes his head. “You don’t know who we can trust. Maybe Romanoff’s part of it. Maybe Fury. Maybe Hill, though I doubt it. It’s just the two of us.”

Which makes Steve feel pretty alone. But not completely. If he’s going to have anyone by his side to take down Nazis and rescue his best friend, he’s glad it’s Tony.

So the next day they suit up and take down HYDRA together. And Steve actually finds himself enjoying it. It’s like he’s back in the forties, but instead of a rowdy team of sometimes-drunk soldiers by his side he’s got a loud-mouthed, gorgeous (and sometimes-drunk too) genius flying around him in a suit of armour.

Steve leaves Tony to release all of HYDRA’s files onto the Internet while he finds Bucky. He easily disables all the guards he encounters as he goes deeper into the basement of SHIELD headquarters. Finally he reaches a room with some weird mechanical chair and Sitwell at a computer desk. “Captain,” Sitwell greets him. “Internet cut out a few minutes ago for some reason, I’ve been trying to get it back online. I suppose that’s what you get for being underneath several feet of concrete. What brings you here?”

Steve decides that keeping up the charade for just a little longer will give him a better chance of getting Bucky out alive. “Got word from Pierce. New mission. I need the Asset.”

“Pierce assigned the Asset to you? I would’ve thought you’d be the last person he’d want to give it to.”

Steve shrugs. “I don’t question orders, I just follow them.”

Sitwell narrows his eyes at him for a second, and Steve holds his breath. Finally, Sitwell nods. “Very well. It’ll take a while to thaw the Asset out, and then we need to wipe it and brief it. You don’t mind waiting, do you?”

“Not at all. But if you could get it done as quickly as possible…”

“Understood.” Sitwell gets to work, pressing some buttons on a big metal case mounted on one wall. Steve gazes through the tiny, fogged-up glass window, feeling like all the breath has been knocked out of him. It’s been a long time, but he knows his friend’s face when he sees it. The door opens and Sitwell beckons him over. “Help me out, won’t you? It’s heavy.” Steve helps carry him over to the chair, and watches, fists clenched, as Sitwell straps him in before electrocuting him to wake him up.

Bucky jolts awake, staring blankly in front before he catches sight of Steve. He frowns up at him.

“If you’re in too much of a hurry, we could probably do without wiping it,” Sitwell says. “It’s been under ice long enough anyway.”

“Okay,” Steve says, not taking his eyes off Bucky. _Seventy years_ …

“So, what’s the brief?”

Steve can’t quite think properly.

“Captain?”

“Uhh…”

He’s got nothing.

_To hell with it._

Steve grabs his gun and shoots Sitwell once in the leg and once in each arm. Ignoring him as he groans on the floor of the lab, Steve turns to his friend, still frowning at him. “Bucky?” he asks softly.

“Who the hell is Bucky?” Bucky mumbles. Steve wants to cry.

Okay, new tactic. “Right, mission briefing. HYDRA has fallen. Finally. For good, I think. Anyway, you’re no longer taking orders from them. You’re going to come home with me – I’m Steve, Steve Rogers, remember? – and Tony Stark – who’s the son of Howard Stark, you remember him, right? – and we’re gonna make you all better, okay?”

Bucky doesn’t reply. Steve doesn’t want to lose hope – he _can’t_ lose hope – but he’s starting to wonder if there’s anything left of Bucky in Bucky’s head.

 _“Cap, status report?”_ Tony says across comms.

“I’ve found him.”

 _“Everything okay?”_ Steve knows Tony can tell it’s not. How did they get so good at reading each other?

“I don’t know. Tony, I don’t know if I can do this.”

_“Okay. Hang in there, Steve, I’m coming.”_

Steve turns back to Bucky, who hasn’t moved an inch. “Okay, Bucky. That’s your name. You’re Bucky. I’m Steve. Soon you’re going to meet Tony. Right now, I’m going to let you out. Okay?”

Bucky doesn’t reply.

Steve unlocks the right hand cuff. As soon as he does, Bucky’s hand flies out and punches him in the jaw before ripping open the cuff on his left, metal, arm. Then the strap around his torso is broken and Bucky launches himself at Steve. Steve manages to get his shield between the two of them and sweep his leg around, knocking Bucky off his feet. Bucky recovers quickly and throws three punches in succession, which Steve blocks, but that throws him off guard for the roundhouse kick that catches him on the side of his head. Steve loses his balance and Bucky jabs him in the solar plexus, knocking the air out of his lungs completely. He collapses to the floor and watches, gasping, as Bucky sprints out of the lab. He can’t even call after him.

Moments later, metal shoes appear in his vision, and Steve looks up to see Tony lift his visor and stare down at him worriedly. “Steve? What the hell happened?”

Steve coughs. “You called me Steve,” he croaks out, somewhat smugly despite the circumstances.

He thinks he can see Tony’s cheeks colour a little, but that might just be the light. “Where did Barnes go?”

“I don’t know. I tried to let him out and he just attacked.” Steve lost him. Again. How many times is that now? “Shit.”

“My thoughts exactly. But I don’t think he’ll run far. Thanks to us HYDRA is as good as dead. Hey, you,” he calls to Sitwell, who is still bleeding out on the lab floor. “Where do you think he’d go?”

Sitwell spits blood onto the tile. “Maybe Pierce’s place? Although once it finds out he’s dead – I’m guessing you killed him, right? – who knows where it’ll go. The Asset’s a ghost. A shell of a person.”

“You’re no help,” Tony groans, and hits Sitwell with a repulsor blast.

Steve shakes his head. “Tony, I blew it. I messed up. I was so close, and I lost him again.” He can feel the tears stinging the back of his eyes, and heck if that isn’t embarrassing.

“Hey, it’s okay. You did okay.” Steve can hear the metal armour shifting as Tony steps out of it, and suddenly arms are wrapped around his waist. It grounds him. And it just feels nice in general. “The main thing is that we took down HYDRA today. And that means that no-one’s going to hurt Barnes anymore. He’s free. And if he comes back to us, yay. If he doesn’t? He’s still out there, being free. And that’s what you want for him, right?”

Steve nods into Tony’s hair.

“You want to go home?”

“Yeah.”

So they go home.

They watch the news together, eating beans on toast which Tony managed to whip together. All the stations are talking about the attack on SHIELD headquarters and the files Tony leaked. Some of them don’t believe the files are real, others think that HYDRA were the ones to kill Pierce, more still believe it was a suicide by Pierce – bringing the whole organisation down with him. Steve is just happy that he and Tony haven’t been dragged into the speculation. There’s no mention of Bucky.

Just when Steve has had enough, Tony switches off the television. “You should get some shut-eye, Steve,” he says. Steve is still surprised by the sound of his name, not a nickname, on Tony’s tongue. “The world’s going to get wind of what we did sooner rather than later, so you should sleep while you can.”

“You should too.”

Tony stands up. “I need to call Pepper. She knows something’s up, and I need to stop dodging her calls.”

Pepper. Of course. “Are you two still…?”

“Nah.” Tony grimaces. “After the aliens we – well, she – decided to take a break. I can’t blame her. My death isn’t something she needs to have on her conscience.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

Tony shrugs. “Go to bed, Steve.”

Steve decides to follow that advice. He stands up just as Tony’s about to walk past him, so they end up almost chest to chest, faces inches away from each other. Steve finds himself unable to look away from Tony’s dark eyes.

“Sorry,” he says again.

“S’okay,” Tony murmurs.

Neither of them move. Steve gradually feels himself leaning forwards, as if there’s an invisible magnet pulling him down towards Tony’s lips-

The kiss is slightly clumsy, given the fact that they’re both exhausted and Steve had a good cry on the way home, but that doesn’t make it any less special. Tony’s lips taste like coffee and baked beans and burnt toast, and Steve’s pretty sure he tastes the same, except maybe minus the coffee. Steve’s hand finds its way into Tony’s hair, which is always beautifully messy after a mission, and when he tugs gently Tony lets out a soft moan and opens his mouth. Steve takes the initiative and licks into Tony’s mouth, and that’s when Tony freezes.

They jerk backwards at the same time, still holding each other – Steve’s now very aware of Tony’s hand on his ass – and saliva goes everywhere, which is gross but expected when a split second ago Steve’s tongue was inside Tony.

“Was that… not okay?” Steve asked, preparing to be let down. It’s not like he isn’t used to it, back when he was scrawny and Bucky – Bucky – was desperately trying to set them up on double dates every week.

Tony looks pained. “What? No, no, that was good. Really good. I’ve… god, I’ve wanted that for ages.” That’s very new information, Steve thinks, blushing hard. “But if you’re doing this just because you’re pitying me, or because you’re feeling sad tonight, and tomorrow you’re just going to wake up and want to be colleagues again… you’d just better not be, okay?”

And that second Steve realises what this could mean for the team. He and Tony have a good thing going on at the moment, and he doesn’t want that to change if they get into some kind of argument or if this possible… thing between them goes south. He doesn’t want to jeopardise the Avengers – and, therefore, the country – by putting his personal life first.

He slowly extracts himself from Tony’s embrace. “I don’t think we should do this,” he says, hoping Tony can see the reluctance with which he’s saying it.

And the hurt on Tony’s face breaks Steve’s heart. “Right. Okay.”

“Just, I think the team…” Steve tries to explain.

“No, I get it, you don’t need to explain yourself,” Tony cuts him off. “I’m going to call Pepper. Get some rest, Cap.”

Steve swears under his breath as Tony walks away.

Tony doesn’t talk to him for the next few days. He tries not to be in the same room as Steve, which is often difficult when they live in the tower together. But Tony’s right: footage of the Iron Man suit flying away from the SHIELD headquarters finds its way onto news networks, prompting Tony’s days to be filled with interviews and press conferences. Steve’s extremely thankful that Tony isn’t dropping him in the whole matter. He wouldn’t blame Tony if he did. Steve considers coming forward, but Natasha – the only other person who knows about Steve’s role in the attack, having found out the next day after storming into the tower demanding answers – advises otherwise. Better to lay low and remain a figure of stability than have the death of the head of the World Security Council on one’s hands.

It isn’t long, however, before the news is consumed by a new story: the remaining members of HYDRA have attacked New York. It’s a poorly planned attack, but there’s enough firepower between the hundred or so attackers to cause several deaths before the Avengers can arrive on the scene.

Steve and Natasha run the few blocks from the tower on foot, while Tony lifts Clint to a rooftop spot where he can shoot attackers from above. Steve prioritises getting civilians to safety while the others fight around him. Hulk does the most damage to HYDRA agents and buildings alike, which makes Steve wince, but that’s why Tony set up the Stark Relief Foundation, he supposes.

Steve dodges bullets and takes out as many agents as he can with his shield, but more keep coming. Geez, just how many people were involved in the HYDRA infiltration? He knows he can’t keep fighting like this. He takes one soldier down, two more appear to take their place. Just like that agent back in the forties said.

Miraculously, he spots Tony flying above him. “Tony, I need backup.”

“Gotcha,” Tony says immediately, changing course and incapacitating half the agents as he lands. They work together, finding the rhythm they had during the alien attack, and Steve finds himself thinking that there isn’t anyone he’d rather fight beside. Even Bucky, since he was constantly worried about him getting shot back in the forties. At least Tony has the armour protecting him.

Steve finally kicks the last agent to the ground and glances at Tony, panting. “Thanks,” he says.

“No problem,” Tony says curtly, and Steve sighs.

“Why can’t we just go back to the way things were?” he asks. “Before we kissed. Before it all got awkward.”

“Wait, you guys did _what_?” Clint asks over comms. _Fuck_.

“Fuck.”

“You kissed _and_ fucked?”

“Shut up Barton, the grown-ups are talking,” Tony says, and flips down his visor so he can glare at Steve. “Why can’t we go back to how things were? Because, Cap, you decided that it would be a good idea to make out with me and then do a full 180. That hurt.”

“You were the one who gave me an out!” Steve replies. “You said that I could back out if I didn’t think it was a good idea, and I just thought with the team…” he shrugs, “it would mess things up.”

“Well, consider things messed up.” Tony flips his visor back down. “I’m going to check the perimeter, see if there are any- _Cap_!”

Steve turns to where Tony’s gaze is directed. A HYDRA agent has emerged from a van with a large, futuristic-looking gun. Pointed directly at him and charging up with a familiar blue light. Steve crouches down behind his shield, waiting for the impact.

But the gun fires and it doesn’t come. Steve peeks out from his shield and his stomach drops to the floor as he sees Tony lying motionless in front of him. The light from the reactor in his chest has gone out. “Tony!” he calls, planting his shield between them and the agent so that he can check on his friend.

“I’m okay.” Tony’s muffled voice comes through the armour. “Can’t move though. The blast short-circuited the armour. Do me a favour and get the catch on the inside of my right thigh?”

Steve can feel himself blushing as he reaches into a rather suggestive spot and finds the switch. The armour immediately collapses, revealing a slightly battered, but otherwise fine, Tony. With a dead reactor. “Tony, the arc reactor…” he gasps.

“I had the shrapnel removed last week,” Tony says. “It acted up after the alien attack and I didn’t want to risk it. No need for it anymore apart from powering the suit.”

Steve breathes a sigh of relief. “Why would you throw yourself in front of me like that? I could take it.”

“It’s a big gun, Steve. I didn’t want to take any chances. Not with you.”

And Tony looks so sincere that Steve wants to kiss him then and there. Damn the team.

But the HYDRA agent shoots again, knocking the shield ten feet away from them and leaving no barrier between them and him. Okay, now probably wouldn’t be the best time for a makeout session.

“Stay down,” Steve says to Tony and sprints towards the agent while the gun is powering up again. A swift kick to the head takes him down and Steve turns to retrieve his shield.

“Stop right there, Captain,” a HYDRA agent says, standing over Tony and the armour and holding a gun to his head. “Do exactly as I say and I will not put a bullet in his head.”

 _He will_ , Tony mouths to him. _I’m sorry_.

“What do you want?” Steve says. He can’t call for backup without alerting the agent. His shield is on the other side of the street, and he definitely can’t travel faster than a bullet, supersoldier serum or no.

“Word got around that you were loyal to us. But as it turns out you were lying. Lying to extract important, highly confidential information from us. And we do not take kindly to actions like that.”

“ _What do you want?_ ” Steve repeats.

“We want you to suffer,” the agent says before cocking the gun.

A shot. Steve yells, his heart stopping. But it’s the HYDRA agent who falls, blood dripping from a gunshot wound in the back of his head. Steve looks across the street and doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

It’s Bucky. Bucky, holding his shield with a smoking gun in his hand.

“Even after seventy years, I gotta have your back,” he says, dropping the gun and tossing the shield to Steve.

“You remember?” Steve manages to ask.

“Bits of it. The programming’s still there, though. I was hoping you’d know how to sort it out. Can I crash at your place for a while?” His voice is steady, emotionless, just like his eyes. Steve knows this isn’t the Bucky he knew from the forties, the Bucky he lost on that train. But it could be. With a little work.

“Technically it’s not my place. It’s his,” Steve gestures at Tony, who’s struggling out from under the agent’s body, eyes wide.

“Tony Stark,” Tony says, offering a hand that shakes only slightly.

Bucky frowns. “Sounds familiar,” he grunts out, but shakes Tony’s hand.

Steve doesn’t miss the way Tony’s expression darkens. “You... knew my dad. Howard.”

Bucky nods like he’s only learning this information now. “Think you can help me?”

“I can certainly try. And the tower’s big enough for another supersoldier. I think.”

So they go back to the Tower. The others go their separate ways, although Bruce, recently de-Hulked and wrapped in a blanket, offers to help Bucky if Tony needs it. Tony thanks him and says he’ll be in touch, knowing that Bucky would probably prefer one stranger at a time performing experiments on him.

Tony and Bucky stay in the lab for a few hours after the fight, and Steve leaves them to it, suspecting they won’t emerge for a while. Bucky’s probably entranced by all the gadgets Tony’s got down there (that nerd) and Tony’s probably entranced by Bucky’s arm (that nerd).

But to Steve’s surprise, the two of them enter the kitchen just as Steve’s about to start dinner. “What are you going to attempt to make and end up burning tonight?” Tony says, leaning on the counter.

“You’re up early.”

“We haven’t eaten in eight hours. He hasn’t slept in thirty. I didn’t realise I’d have to take care of another punk when I came here,” Bucky says, pointing at Tony.

“Thirty hours? You told me you slept last night,” Steve says, frowning.

“Because you get that pouty face when I tell you I was up all night. Look, there it is.”

“And yet you told Bucky?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I asked JARVIS. He’s cool.”

_“Thank you, Sergeant Barnes.”_

Steve nods, not really surprised at how well Bucky’s taking all of this. After all, he was the one who had taken Steve to see a flying car. “I’m making tagine,” he says. “Stew,” he adds upon seeing Bucky’s frown. “What did you get up to in the workshop?”

“Stark showed me all his nerd toys,” Bucky says.

“I offered to build him a new arm,” Tony says, “but Barnes apparently doesn’t want me to have any fun.”

“I said _maybe_ ,” Bucky retorts. Even with his back turned, Steve can detect the smirk in Bucky’s voice, a trace of his past self shining through.

They eat dinner together, the room mostly filled with Tony chattering on like usual, talking about his new projects and complimenting Steve on the surprisingly good taste of his food. Bucky seems to be enjoying it, and when Tony points this out he simply shrugs and replies that all he’s eaten for the last seventy years is weird flavourless protein shakes.

Bucky says he wants to crash after dinner, and Tony tells JARVIS to direct him to his room, next door to Steve’s. As soon as Bucky’s out of earshot, Tony’s smile disappears. “Cap, I don’t know what to do,” he says.

Steve sighs. “I know. This isn’t your forte, I understand.”

“It’s really not. I’m a mechanic. I’m not a neurosurgeon, and I’m definitely not a therapist. Barnes’ arm? Great. I can work on that. His head? Where the fuck do I begin? He’s not a machine, but he’s been treated like one. Now we need to make him… not a machine. And I can’t do that.” Tony leans back against the kitchen counter. He looks exhausted. Steve lays a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Steve.”

“Hey. It’s okay. Do you think Banner could help?”

Tony shrugs. “He’s not a therapist either. Trust me, I’ve tried it with him. But he might have contacts. I’ll get in touch.”

So Tony disappears back to his lab, and Steve cleans up in the kitchen before retreating to his room with a book. A few hours pass when he suddenly hears screaming coming from Bucky’s room. Screaming that sounds very much like his best friend. He grabs his shield and knocks three times on Bucky’s door before entering. Bucky’s sat up straight on his bed, eyes wide and fixed on him. Steve can see a glint of metal in his right hand.

“You brought the shield,” Bucky says hoarsely. Steve looks down, guiltily, and Bucky huffs a bitter laugh. “Can’t blame you.” He stands up and holds out his right hand, which is holding a knife. “I don’t know why I have this in my room. I think it’d be better if I didn’t. Especially since I thought about fifty ways to kill you with it as soon as you came in.”

Steve frowns at the knife for a moment, but Bucky seems insistent so he takes it. “I could totally take you,” he says.

Bucky really does laugh softly at that. “Punk,” he mutters.

“Nightmare?”

Bucky nods.

“Want me to stay?”

Another nod. “Bring your nerd book if you want.”

So Steve does – slightly offended at Bucky calling it a nerd book, it’s only _A Brief History of Time_ and it’s really interesting thank you very much – and sits on one side of Bucky’s bed, reading, while Bucky cuddles into his side and sleeps. And Steve wakes up with a crick in his neck for sleeping sitting up and the sound of Bucky humming in the shower, and it feels almost like home. But with a comfier bed and no chance of running out of hot water.

The next few days pass by in a blur. Bucky and Tony are down in the workshop with whoever Tony’s brought in to try and help. Steve brings lunch down to them and they come up for dinner, where they discuss the day’s findings (usually “this didn’t help” or “it helped with _this_ , but not with _that_ ” or, on one occasion, “this actually made it worse”). Then Steve and Bucky spend the night in the same room. Bucky wakes up at least once a night in a cold sweat. There was even one night when Steve woke up to Bucky’s hands wrapped around his neck. Bucky apologised profusely after that incident and asked if Steve wanted to go back to his own room, but Steve merely shrugged and said he knew what he had signed up for.

After about a week of almost no progress made, Steve comes back from his morning run to find Bucky perched on the kitchen counter, silently eating granola (is eating granola silently even possible?). “Morning,” Bucky grunts.

“Morning,” Steve repeats, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. “You slept through the night.”

“Mm,” Bucky says through a mouthful of granola. “I think that was the hypnotherapist Stark had over yesterday.”

“Hypnotherapist?”

“Yeah, I was as sceptical as you at first. But he had a theory that all my memories are still there, just in my subconscious. Which means they can still be retrieved. Plus, I could learn to forget the HYDRA programming.”

“Dude, swallow before you talk,” Steve says, poking his flesh arm. “But that sounds like it could work. Maybe. If you believe in hypnotism.”

“All right, Mr Sceptic. He’s coming over again today, so we’ll see.”

“And does Tony agree with this?”

Bucky shrugs. “It’s the best lead we’ve had so far. And he says it’s helped a lot of other people over the years, with phobias and stuff, so it’s worth a try.” There’s a small smirk on his lips when he says, “He doesn’t really know what he’s doing with me, though. He pretends he does, but I can tell.”

“He’s a mechanic,” Steve says, thinking back to that first night, when Tony looked so sorry that he couldn’t help more.

Bucky nods. The kitchen is silent for a moment. “He really cares about you, you know.”

“The hypnotherapist?” Steve asks. He knows Bucky means Tony, but he wants to be a jerk.

“No, idiot. Stark. I’ve seen the way you two look at each other. And since stuff like that is legal nowadays, I think you should go for it.”

Steve shrugs. “We tried, once. It didn’t go that well.”

“Did you try hard enough?”

Steve sighs. “No. I didn’t. I messed up.”

Bucky frowns. “I think you should try again then.” He chuckles. “Look at me, trying to set you up on dates again.”

Steve grins. His best friend is still there, and hopefully he can come back permanently.

The hypnotherapist comes back every day. Bucky’s nightmares get less regular. He cuts his hair short, like it was in the forties. Still, Steve doesn’t talk to Tony about their _thing_.

He still catches Tony looking at him, though, when he doesn’t think he can see him. He wants to talk to him. _God_ , he wants to hold Tony and tell him how he feels, that he’s head over heels in love with him, but how the hell would he start that conversation?

“Bucky and I are watching _The Notebook_ tonight,” he says to Tony instead, on one of his visits to the workshop. “Getting Chinese food. Want to join?”

Tony pulls a face at the name of the film. “I don’t do romance films. Especially not cheesy ones like The Notebook.”

Steve smirks. “Aw, you’re just worried we’re going to catch you crying at the sad bits.”

“What? I’m not!” Tony sputters. “Heart of stone, here.” He taps the place where the arc reactor used to be.

Feeling brave, Steve comes up close, laying his hand over Tony’s chest. “Nope, all I feel is flesh and blood,” he says. He doesn’t miss the way Tony’s face goes bright red.

They stay like that for a moment before Tony backs away, looking pained. “Rogers, what are you doing?”

Steve’s heart sinks. He knew it. He’d missed his chance the first time. “I don’t know,” he sighs. “I thought maybe we could try again. We can make it work with the team.”

Tony frowns. “But you and Barnes…?”

“Me and…” Steve laughs despite himself. “You thought Bucky and I were together?”

“It seemed kind of obvious.” Tony shrugs.

“Bucky’s my best friend. I love him, but I’m not in love with him. You, on the other hand…”

Tony’s eyes go wide. “Steve? Are you fucking with me right now?”

Steve steps forward cautiously. “That day. When we found Bucky. I thought I was going to lose you. Twice.”

“I thought I was going to lose _you_. And I just figured, better me than him.”

“No, Tony, don’t you _dare_ think that.” Steve takes Tony’s hand, stares into his eyes, tries to get Tony to listen. “You mean the world to me. I’ve had enough of losing people I love. So don’t you dare think that your life is worth any less than anyone else’s.”

Tony reaches up to cradle Steve’s jaw with his free hand. “You mean it?”

“Of course. Tony, I’m in love with you.”

Tony kisses him. It’s wonderful.

When they break apart, Steve keeps their foreheads together, and they stay like that for a while, just breathing each other’s air. “I love you too,” Tony says. “I thought I’d missed my chance.”

“Me too,” Steve replies. “We’re both idiots.”

“Yeah, you are,” says a new voice.

“Fuck off, Barnes,” Tony says without moving.

“Steve promised me movie night,” Bucky protests. “Although if all you two want to do is make out or eye-fuck each other during the film, I’m sure I can work the TV myself.”

“We’re coming,” Steve sighs.

“Are we?” Tony asks, raising an eyebrow in a suggestive way that _definitely_ doesn’t make Steve blush.

Bucky glances between the two of them, realisation slowly dawning on him. “Yeah, okay, I’ll go watch the film myself,” he suddenly says, backing out of the workshop. “Use protection!”

The door slams shut before Steve and Tony can curse him out.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: sunshine-soprano


End file.
